i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
