The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
