i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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