it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
