Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
