the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
