i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
