So drunk its hurt
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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