the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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