I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
