I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
