would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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