do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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