Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
