I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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