FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
