The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
