ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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