these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
