No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
