I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
