Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
