Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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