Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
