I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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