"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
