once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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