I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
