My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
