That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
