I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
