you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
