well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
