He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
