i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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