oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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