Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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