He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
