it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
