Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Welp...herpes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
