man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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