Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and she was petting her beer can
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
