Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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