would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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