I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
