So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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