so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
