Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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