we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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