wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
