this just has baby written all over it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
