Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
